If it's Tuesday this must be Kauaʻi

Today the New York times travel section does Kauaʻi [warning: ads and/or paywall]. After the opening paragraph informs us of the island's "unspoiled natural splendor", that it is "arguably most beautiful of the major Hawaiian Islands", and that it "still feels like the world’s most stunning backwater" -- all of which I agree with -- for reasons unexplained that I cannot fathom, the article adopts a theme of trying to cram as many sights as possible into 36 hours.

Ideally you should be planning 36 days to properly experience this place fully, not 36 hours. Overall I found the article to be contrived, weak, and in places outright wrong: I wonder if they fact-checked it. For starters, the article's timeline begins at 6pm on a Friday and goes to 2pm Sunday: note to New York times, that's 44 hours.

I have in fact been back on the island a little over a leisurely 50 hours myself. I was in Hanapepe [1. Art and Literature] yesterday for breakfast. They are incorrect that the excellent Talk Story bookstore is the only dedicated bookstore on the island (also in Kapa'a we have the Blue House bookstore), at least by my definition of dedication.

For what it's worth, personally I avoid the touristy [2. Dinner With Sugar] location as well as the ultra-swank St. Regis.

This morning I had breakfast at Kalaheo Cafe mentioned in [3. Coffee at the Source]. Kauai is not generally considered competition with the high end coffee grown on the Big Island and Maui but  they do have over a dozen varieties available to sample hot brewed.

There is no way you can do the Cliff trail [4. Hikes With Views] at Kokeʻe - I hike up there frequently, there is a whole network of trails all over - and then get to the north shore all within 3 hours (as they have it, from 10:30 to 1:30) unless you charter a helicopter for transportation. The driving time alone is over two hours and arriving mid-day parking will be long gone -- making Keʻe [5. End of the Road] your first morning destination is always a good place.

Realistically, spend more time hiking Kokeʻe if you are going all the way up there and then hit the other end of the road (check road conditions, and terms of rental car) and see Polihale sunset would be my recommendation.

The best live music on the north shore is at Tahiti Nui and the show is over by 8:30 [8. Tipple in Tahiti] which is when their timeline takes you there - what a waste, just skip the other bar they mention.

Other different recommendations (for more see this blog's travel section):

• Best north shore coffee is the Hanalei Coffee Roasters which also has excellent baked goods and light fare.
• Banana Joe's is my favorite juice stand: though the drink selection is limited they sell a variety of produce too. The frosties are the best.

The writer of the New York Times article seems to have you staying in the south your first night and then relocating to stay in the north the second night, not very practical, otherwise if you stay in one place with this itinerary you have a lot of driving somewhere (unless of course your personal helicopter is taking you here and there). The lodging options they list struck me as ridiculously pricey and not representative of your real options ("rooms officially start at $1,100" ... seriously?).

Why in the world would someone visit Kaua'i and cut it so short? I have to say: if you only have 36 hours, just go have fun at Waikiki (you probably don't have the temperament to enjoy the island in the first place).

Update: After writing this last night this morning up at Kokeʻe I happened to meet not one but two couples touring Kauaʻi on short schedules. First couple said this was their last day and wanted to drive all the way around to the other end of the road and hike the Kalalau ... I assume they wanted to see it all in first going to the opposite end of the road? The second couple said time was short and asked what I suggested ... we talked as I walked them over to see the view while we talked. As I listed a few multi-mile hikes it became clear that was more than they were up for ... and indeed, he said, "We have about an hour before our flight."

So here is my recommendation for Kokeʻe in one hour that I gave them:

1. Drive to the end of 550 (Kokeʻe Road) overlook - unless it is rainy/misty in which case skip it - and see if you can get a look at Kalalau Valley.
2. On the way back stop at any trailhead you like the looks of and walk into the forest.
3. Stop at the Waimea Canyon Lookout [map] and see the view.

This isnʻt the first time I have chatted with people visiting and been surprised how little time they had for Kauaʻi. I guess that on the map it looks awfully small. One very nice couple I recall eventually explained that they were touring all the major islands in one week so they had about 24 hours on Kauaʻi. I must have looked a little surprised, no knowing what to recommend on such a tight schedule. He admitted, in the nicest way, "Yeah, we suck."